Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Current Event(s) Blogworthy!

If a current event has been deemed blogworthy by blogistes the world over, it should be anticipated that the event will be widely reported and analyzed, commented and postulated upon, until such a time as the event is effectively rendered dead by repeated and merciless flogging, (hereafter known as 'blogging a dead horse' - ha!)

In the event that the...event is somehow tangentially related to some other such event by mitigating circumstances (wild speculation, imaginative association) said event will be granted a new life by virtue of its specious relation to the second event. More than two interrelated events construes evidence that a greater "series of events" are unfolding and this "series" may breathe new life once again into the original event by giving it an entirely different context and relevance to other such events.

Should these collective events be deemed to have "a life of its own" by the blogging public responsible for giving it life, it will receive wide coverage from national media publications, who will then grant the event constant permeative exposure. The original event and all subsequent and corresponding events will receive much scrutiny by way of comparison/contrast, id-itorializing, and excessive unnecessary personalization by and for so-called pundits. In this manner, the event has now evolved into what is commonly known as a "scandal". It is crucial at this point that as much hyperbolistic-holier-than-thou-righteous-indignation and moral relativism as possible be summoned and practiced in exploring (judging) the root cause of the scandal.

Thusly follows the most important aspect in analysis of the scandal and that is the formulation of a blame paradigm in which the most enfeebled, defenseless and publicly humiliated participant is fingered as the most blameworthy and should then have the weight of responsibility thrown on him or her. It is not uncommon for any number of bizarre fantasy punishments to be offered by the aforementioned pundits or a special class of morally superior citizens known as "irate viewers" as discipline for this person's shameless depravity in participation of the scandal.

The participants of the original events, now chastened and systematically "scandalized" by constant public scrutiny, should be left alone to contemplate suicide in favor of other events that may or may not be developing into a scandal. Or, more likely, the media will self-reflexively blame "the media" (this is when the media refers to "the media", which is clearly not the media heretofore under discussion, but some other media to which no media ever belongs) for sensationalizing such a scandal and will disavow any connection or responsibility in publicizing scandals in the first place by tsk-tsking other "less respectable" media types for reporting on it.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Pelosi Accurately Characterizes the Bush Presidency

It's hard to push legislation through when partisan politics rules the day and an opposing-party president vetoes every single vote. I hope voters are smart enough to see through the types of games the Bush administration has been playing in trying to secure a permanent Republican congressional majority. Thanks Karl Rove...dick.


It's Going to be a Football Kind of Year

I am officially geeking out for the 2008 NFL season. I have bought three NFL preview magazines, am participating in four fantasy football leagues and have purchased the NFL Sunday ticket package from Direct TV. All of this despite the fact that my team is not expected to do very well this season. But at least I will be able to see them not do very well every week without fail, in crystal clear digital television! (I'm not fancy enough for HD yet).

...do people still say 'geeking out'?