A lot of people in television get all 'creative' when they go on hiatus: they polish a screenplay, start a new project, start a screenplay, take a class, take a screenwriting class. Since I'm not on hiatus and was instead 'gently let-go', I have endeavored to document my first day of joblessness:
6:40 AM - awoke, somewhat reluctantly
7:45 AM - 8:04 AM - filled out necessary unemployment paperwork online, bristled at the notion that I could be rejected
8:05 AM - 8:26 AM - brooded
8:27 AM - 8:45 AM - brooded (in bed)
8:46 AM - considered masturbating
??? AM- 10:50AM - napped.
10:58 AM - 11:40 AM - took dog for walk around the park, noted the increasing greenness of each subsequent bowel movement (the dog's, not mine)
11:55 AM - 12:01 PM - dog barked periodically; advised him to "shut it"
12:05 PM- 12:20PM - attempted to complete some Madden Moments; turned game off in disgust because the Dolphins receivers can't catch for shit (and the Dolphins still beat the Broncos this year).
12;25 PM - began preparing lunch (veggie masala burger on naan bread with hummus, jack cheese and mango ginger chutney)
12:46 PM - pondered whether dishes in dishwasher were clean or dirty
12:47 PM - consulted girlfriend (via Gchat) about dishes. Verdict: clean
12:51 PM - GODDAMMIT!!! burned my naan bread and dropped my masala burger patty on the dirty-ass kitchen floor. Shit!
12:56 PM - enjoyed soiled masala burger anyway
1:06 PM - picked surprisingly minimal hairs out of my teeth transferred to mouth via masala burger (mostly of cat origin)
2:27 PM - pondered whether or not it was too early to drink a beer
3:14 PM - drove to Target
3:32 PM - briefly flirted with the notion of asking for a job application at said Target
4:01 PM - returned home to find dog had gotten into the cat litter and ate cat shit...on my bed spread; ignored dog's entreaties for attention as punishment
4:21 PM - realized that I put corn chips in fridge, hummus in pantry; discovered leftover Robek's smoothie from previous day.
4:21 PM - 4:26 PM - enjoyed leftover smoothie
4:59 PM - began self-flagellation for not going to the gym today
5:00 PM - workday, self-flagellation ended.