Monday, January 05, 2009

LIVE BLOGGING MY UNEMPLOYMENT!!!

A lot of people in television get all 'creative' when they go on hiatus: they polish a screenplay, start a new project, start a screenplay, take a class, take a screenwriting class. Since I'm not on hiatus and was instead 'gently let-go', I have endeavored to document my first day of joblessness:

6:40 AM - awoke, somewhat reluctantly

7:45 AM - 8:04 AM - filled out necessary unemployment paperwork online, bristled at the notion that I could be rejected

8:05 AM - 8:26 AM - brooded

8:27 AM - 8:45 AM - brooded (in bed)

8:46 AM - considered masturbating

??? AM- 10:50AM - napped.

10:58 AM - 11:40 AM - took dog for walk around the park, noted the increasing greenness of each subsequent bowel movement (the dog's, not mine)

11:55 AM - 12:01 PM - dog barked periodically; advised him to "shut it"

12:05 PM- 12:20PM - attempted to complete some Madden Moments; turned game off in disgust because the Dolphins receivers can't catch for shit (and the Dolphins still beat the Broncos this year).

12;25 PM - began preparing lunch (veggie masala burger on naan bread with hummus, jack cheese and mango ginger chutney)

12:46 PM - pondered whether dishes in dishwasher were clean or dirty

12:47 PM - consulted girlfriend (via Gchat) about dishes. Verdict: clean

12:51 PM - GODDAMMIT!!! burned my naan bread and dropped my masala burger patty on the dirty-ass kitchen floor. Shit!

12:56 PM - enjoyed soiled masala burger anyway

1:06 PM - picked surprisingly minimal hairs out of my teeth transferred to mouth via masala burger (mostly of cat origin)

2:27 PM - pondered whether or not it was too early to drink a beer

3:14 PM - drove to Target

3:32 PM - briefly flirted with the notion of asking for a job application at said Target

4:01 PM - returned home to find dog had gotten into the cat litter and ate cat shit...on my bed spread; ignored dog's entreaties for attention as punishment

4:21 PM - realized that I put corn chips in fridge, hummus in pantry; discovered leftover Robek's smoothie from previous day.

4:21 PM - 4:26 PM - enjoyed leftover smoothie

4:59 PM - began self-flagellation for not going to the gym today

5:00 PM - workday, self-flagellation ended.

1 comment:

Daddy-O said...

Man, you really should have masterbated. I think that would've changed your whole day around. Seriously reconsider that when confronted with your trouser snake tomorrow and let the world know how it goes...if indeed it goes in that direction.